Why is Life so Frustrating???

Hi and welcome to my pity party! I guess I'm just having one of my days and I'm frustrated with everything. Do you ever have those days? I know that's a dumb question, especially if you're a mom. I love my family more than anything and I would do anything for them, but there are days when I just cannot handle it. Day's like today for example.

Yes, I know the economy is in the toilet right now but I'm aloud to complain about it. I work part time, at a restaurant that is usually busy. And I'm not talking about last year, I'm talking about the days that I don't work......yes, I truly believe that I have a curse. I go and work my butt of like everyone else; sometimes more than the others do. I smile, I have a great personality and I like to visit with my customers. So why in the hell is it not busy when I am there? I come to work and all of the other servers will tell me how outrageously busy it was yesterday (the day that I didn't work).

Yesterday I made $25 for a lunch shift. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Today I made $38 which I can say is better but I had to take the oldest kiddo to the doctor and pay a $25 copay. For what you ask??? For them to tell me that he DOES NOT have an ear infection and it's just a little red, give him Tylenol. No shit?! Like I said, I would do anything for my kid if he's hurting but it's still frustrating to just throw my money away. I wouldn't be at all frustrated if the doctor had said he had a raging ear infection!!!

Why is it that everything I do just back fires on me? Why is it that everything costs so much damn money? When do I get to do something for myself? Oh yeah, in at least 3 years. Even though 3 years in not that far away it really is when you are feeling stuck and that's exactly what I am......STUCK. My children need me, they need me to be home for them and not in a day care being raised by a teenage stranger; I refuse to do it. I cannot find a job that I'm qualified for (since I chose not to go to college) and if I am qualified for it they pay a whopping $10/hr. How am I suppose to do anything with that kind of salary? Hence, my choice to wait tables.

I don't have a lot of bills to pay, my wonderful husband works his butt off and pays 98% of them. I pay for the home phone, the Internet, our groceries and my car payment. The biggest one being the groceries. Feeding a family of 5 can be easy and difficult at the same time! I spend approximately $120 a week or $500/month on groceries and that is the average. There are some weeks where I spend less using coupons and sales items, but not that often. I tried that whole grocery game thing but I don't know if it saves me more when I use the coupons on brand name stuff or if I just buy the generic stuff........I really don't have time to do it either. Anyway, my car payment is $230 a month and the phone/Internet is $100 a month. So what is that......$830.00/month in expenses and I make approximately $200/wk in tips and $40 a week on my paycheck equaling....about $960.00 a month, that's if I make good tips and work my max hours. If not, I have to scrimp and make partial payments, which are getting me more and more behind.

Needless to say I'm feeling very stretched thin and stuck between a rock and a hard spot. The sad thing is that I'm not the only one. I'm really praying that this economy turns around quickly and that my children get into full time school sooner than later!!!!

Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan. Have a wonderful night!